Can you feel the peace? All the kids are finally in bed. The big man is working late and I am finally winding down from yet another crazy-busy week. My laundry is washed, folded and put away. The dishes are done and the counters washed clean. There are a few problem areas still not to be discussed tonight but let's just say that for once this week I feel as if I can sit and leisurely browse the blogging world without feeling like I'm neglecting anyone or anything.
We all need that quiet time to recharge our batteries. That is an adjustment that I am finding a little difficult to make since making the decision to homeschool. Jeff has some pretty heavy extra responsiblities this year that have virtually left me to fend for myself almost every day and night. Most of the time I don't mind and just keep going but I definitely crave some of my missed "down-time". I have always enjoyed a little bit of alone-time. I never minded when he left town for a week or so. It is kind of nice to have the total freedom to watch whatever you want to watch or go to bed whenever you wanted to go to bed or eat whatever you wanted to eat. I was usually very productive when he was gone. I'd tackle the projects that had been burning a hole in my brain but I could never start when he was home because of the mess that they made during the fix-it stage.
Now that my alone-time is becoming more and more scarce I find that I cherish it a little more. I also realize that it is an absolute neccessity for me to remain sane. I absolutely need just a little quiet time each day. I'll stay up way later than I should or wake up way earlier than I want to just to get some. I don't know why it's important. I just know that it is.
I think it has to do with the definition of serenity:
the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness
and the antonym: Agitation
When one is constantly in a state of agitation over something or other their body/spirit/mind craves the tranquility which balances out the anxiety and stressors of the day.
While there are many things that I love about homeschooling, I can honestly say that this transition has been one of the hardest and most anxiety riddled time periods in my life. All of the "can I really do this?" and "how do I actually do this?" questions have taken their toll. The good news is that at least now I know that I can do it. Still working on the how part but at least now I know that I don't need to have ALL of the answers right now. I know that this first year is probably the hardest one. I just need to carve out a little more balancing serenity time---cause seriously, "if mama aint happy-aint NOBODY happy!"