Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Unfulfilled Expectations vs Lofty Goals

I am the ultimate example of unfulfilled expectations. While I was growing up, gaining wisdom and experiencing the things that would ultimately shape my own vision of my life, I had such high expectations for myself. I was going to conquer the world, not so much the peoples of the world but literally the world itself. I wanted to climb the Jungfrau,
kayak the Perth River
and trek to the South Pole. I wanted to dive the Great Barrier Reef,
Hike up to Machu Pichu and Heli-Ski Cordova, AK.

I wanted to squeeze every last drop out of this earthly experience--all before I got married.
I guess I did sort of want to conquer the peoples of the world too--in a way. I wanted to serve a mission and teach them about Jesus Christ. I wanted to convert them ALL. I wanted to do this because I really do believe in it and I hope that other people can come to this same knowledge. I also wanted to save the world from their own stupidity--their own political nightmares that they have chosen for themselves through ignorant choices and lack of sound understanding. I wanted to show them a better way; A way that would allow them so much more freedom to be who they want to be and do what they want to do. Lofty goals? Hubris of the young? Naivete? Or all of the above?

Maybe somewhere along the road I woke up and realized that this wasn't the plan that my Heavenly Father had for me. I had other, albeit more mundane things to accomplish.

The only problem is...

I still want to do these things!!!

I realize however that this will never happen, probably none of them.

Maybe this is why I push my kids. You see, I KNOW what kind of potential they hold. I know that there really is no mountain too high or job too big for them to accomplish. They simply need to be inspired---and prepared for ANY road that they might find themselves on. I never want them to be afraid to reach out and grasp their dream. I never want them to give up on something that is truly important to them. I also push them to be spiritually prepared, so that they will know and recognize what the TRULY important things to reach for are. I realize of course that this requires a fine balance to be struck. Too much pushing results in the all-to-familiar digging in of the heels while too little pushing results in the enabling, lazy, lounge-about who accomplishes zero goals because they don't even bother to set any. Hmmmm, it is quite the dilemma.

I guess when all is said and done I would rather error on the side of too much! How does the old saying go? "Reach for the Moon and even if you miss, you may land among the stars. I may not have done all of the things that I wanted to but I have climbed the Great Wall of China and I have stared over the edge of the Cliffs of Moher and I do hope that someday Jeff and I will be able to serve that mission together. Robert Browning once said, "Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp--or what's a heaven for?"

So, my endearing (or is that enduring?) kids---It's back to the books for you! You have moons to reach for and mountains to climb--and all of my unfulfilled expectations to accomplish so that I can live vicariously through you.

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